The Big Easy Chair

Over the years, I've stayed in a lot of hotels. Of course, some are nicer than others: the W in New York City was amazing; the Motel 6 in San Jose, not so much. Sometimes there are upside surprises at the less desirable locations, and sometimes the better known places disappoint.

This is a true retelling of my experience this week at the Marriott in New Orleans when, upon discovering my room lacked a chair, I made an attempt to remedy the situation.

First attempt: 

Me - (Calling the front desk) "Hi there, I don't seem to have a chair in my room, and I was wondering if you would be so kind as to send one up so I can get some work done?"

Operator -  "Oh, you're in one of the newly remodeled rooms, sir. The chairs are on back order."

Me - "Um, OK. So can I get a chair, please?

Operator - "No, sir,  you cannot."

Second attempt (the next day):

Me - (Visiting the front desk) "Hi, I don't have a chair in my room, and was told I couldn't have one. Is there a way I could please get a chair - I don't care what kind, something from the kitchen is fine."

Clerk - "Of course, sir."

Pleased with myself I headed back up to my room. Upon arriving I noticed a flashing light on my phone. I had a message.

Voice mail - "I'm sorry, sir, we are unable to give you a chair at this time."

Third attempt (about 10 minutes later):

Me - (Stopping at the desk on my way back to the conference) "For some unexplainable reason, I am yet again denied a chair. I cannot fathom what the problem is."

Clerk - "I'm really sorry, sir. When you asked, I just assumed that we'd get it for you."

Me - "Me too."

Clerk - "Apparently, we're not able to just get you a chair. The only person, who can really seem to remedy this is my manager, and he's helping some other guests."

At that moment, another managerial type walked by, and was stopped by the clerk, who explained the situation to him.


Manager type - "Let me take your name and cell number, and I'll call you with a solution. Shouldn't be a problem. I'm not sure why we couldn't get it to you earlier."

Me - "Nor could I. I literally worked on my knees last night. It doesn't have to be one of your regular chairs, I'll take a chair from a banquet room, or even the kitchen. Seriously, I don't care, I just need a chair."

Fourth attempt (about 3 minutes later):

Walking back to the convention center, my phone rings.

Clerk - "Hi, Mr. Katis. This is NAME from the Marriott front desk. Unfortunately, sir we are unable to get you a chair."

Me - "You have got to be kidding me. Why not?

Clerk - "I guess it has to do with lugging a chair up to your room."

Me - "Oh, that makes sense. I mean, after all, it's not like they lugged two beds and a credenza up there."

Clerk - "That's true. I do have a possible solution that my manager has suggested. We have a room that has come open in the other tower. It hasn't been remodeled yet, but it does have a chair. You could move into that room for the remainder of your stay."

Me - "Wait. I could move, but you can't move a chair?"

Clerk - "Apparently so."

Me - "I'm only here still tonight and tomorrow night. I've got my stuff all over. I'm not particularly interested in moving rooms."

Clerk - "I'm not sure what other option there is, sir."

Me - "Move the chair from that open room into mine?"

Clerk - "Unfortunately, apparently we're not able to do that, sir."

Me - "This is ridiculous. You're the Marriott, not Motel 6. You know, I don't mean to be 'that' guy, but I'm a columnist. What kind of story do you think I'll be writing about this? I don't mean to be angry with you, I recognize it's not your fault, but this is absolutely ridiculous."

Clerk - "I agree with you, sir. It is. If you'd like, I'll keep trying since you don't want to move rooms."

Me - "I'd appreciate that. And, again, it doesn't have to be a standard room chair, any chair will do."

I wonder if the person in accounting from whom they obviously procured my new chair moved into that unoccupied room.