Bonded Like Super Glue

In the training Kelly and I were required to complete by Alameda County before we could be deemed "parent material," a great deal of attention was spent on the child/parent bond. Now, much of it was geared toward foster parents and those looking to adopt older kids, but it was a consistent theme in practically every meeting.

One couple was so freaked out that they sought constant reassurance by relating story lines from made-for-TV movies they'd seen on Lifetime in which children happily walked away from evil biological parents and into the loving arms of total strangers. After providing a synopsis of the show's plot, the husband would hopefully ask, "Does it ever happen like that?"

To hedge our bets, when we were matched with Gus, I suggested that we leave a couple of our tee shirts with Shirley, his foster mom, to put in his crib while he slept so he'd grow "accustomed" to our scents. In no uncertain terms, Shirley scolded, "No way there gonna be men's underclothes in my
house!" For what it's worth, even without our manly-scented tee shirts, Gus "bonded" with us almost immediately, bursting into tears when we took him back to Shirley's place after his first weekend with us.

What I find interesting is that not one minute of training time was dedicated to discussing how a parent would bond with a child. It was just assumed that we'd see the kid and, voila!, instant parental instinct.

Frankly, I never thought about whether or not I had bonded with the kids until last night. Niko has a pretty yucky cold. That means he needs the reassurance of sleeping with Kelly and me.

I think human beings are naturally programmed to flee from illness. I mean, those who run toward sickness are usually deemed saints by society. It's all about self preservation.

So when you're faced with 40-lbs of coughing, heat-radiating, nose-running sick little boy, your natural, survival instincts tell you RUN! But when the little hand reaches out for you and pulls a small body closer to you, and a tiny voice whispers, "Daddy," the only option you have is to pull him in still closer - fever, cough, snot and all.

Yeah, I think it's safe to say, I bonded.