I'm Just Human

If I'm being totally honest, I haven't been enjoying fatherhood too much lately.  I don't think I'm being a very good dad.

First, the kids are out for the summer, which brings a whole new barrel of challenges. Even with all the planned activities and sports, and more toys, games and bikes than a Toy s R Us annex, they still get bored. I'm trying to work from my home office, and that can be a challenge in general without the added pressure of bickering brothers. Brothers, who have taken irritating each other to a new art form.

Now I'm confident enough to realize that I have many admirable attributes. But I'm also self-aware enough to understand that patience with other people and calmly accepting juvenile behavior are not among them. So sometimes my frustration boils over. Sometimes it boils over the way Mount Saint Helens did.

The situation was starting to get me down. I wanted to be the good dad 24/7. But that wasn't the case.

Then on Facebook I saw an essay my friend Anita had posted. It was by a dad, who was honest and frank about his own challenges. Anita is one of the 3-4 people to whom I'm not related, who has known me literally all of my life.  She later told me that she had posted that essay for me.

I'm glad she did.

Because to be totally honest, I am a good dad. Yeah, sometimes I'm not as patient as I should be. Sometimes I blow my top. Sometimes I fail the boys and myself. But that doesn't mean I'm not a good dad. It just means I'm human.