A Day of Laughter at the Museum

My friend John - a former professor of mine - once told me that whenever he and his wife traveled with their children, they always made a point of visiting museums. He said frequently the kids complained, but now they're adults a visit to the museum is on the itinerary no matter what city they visit.

I want my kids to have an appreciation for fine arts. I look forward to the day that my sons and I can stroll together through the amazing museums I consider myself so blessed to have visited: from New York's Metropolitan Museum of Art to Chicago's Field Museum, from San Francisco's The California Palace of the Legion of Honor to Moscow's Pushkin Museum.

But, like John, I know that in order for that to happen, it's up to me to introduce the boys to the fine arts.

So Saturday I took them to the Utah Museum of Fine Arts (UMFA) at the University of Utah. For a smallish city like Salt Lake, this museum is really pretty impressive.

I knew I had 30-minutes to an hour tops. I didn't expect a 5- and 8-year old to look thoughtfully at each painting and comment on the play on light. Although at a sculpture consisting exclusively of Federal Express boxes and correspondingly-sized shattered plexiglass pieces, Gus did ask the ultimate artistic question, "This is just broken glass; how is it art?" That's pretty good commentary for an 8-year old!

But it was when we entered the Asian exhibit that it all fell apart.

Almost immediately we came face to backside with a dancing Shiva from the Chola Dynasty of India(300 BCE - 1300 CE). Niko took one glance at it, pointed at it's derriere and shouted, "Oh my gosh! A bum!

And then he lost it. He was laughing hard, doubled over, gasping for breath. This, of course, made Gus start chortling. As curious on-lookers tried to ascertain what was so funny, I snatched Niko up before he lost total control and crashed into a 19th-century Reclining Buddha from Burma.


The front side of Shiva...

Quick! Into the hall of Dutch and Flemish religious paintings. There's nothing funny about Madonna and child, which was the first painting we came across. Only, when you're 5-years old and that painting is Peter Paul Reubens' The Virgin Nursing the Christ Child, you shout at the top of your voice, "BOOBIE!" If Shiva was funny, the Virgin Mary's breast was the greatest comedy of all time.

I glanced around the hall, a few rather amused older women smiled at us. I hoped they were cutting me some slack seeing how I was trying to introduce my hooligans to fine art.

My plea that he was laughing at the Holy Virgin Mary only made Niko laugh harder. To his credit, Gus was clearly trying his darnedest to be mature about it, but as painting after painting revealed another breast here, another buttocks there it became increasingly difficult to stifle the chuckles. The laughter only really subsided when we moved into the ancient Greek, Roman and Egyptian hall.

We left UMFA after 45 minutes. Wait, we left UMFA after 45 fun-filled minutes. At least their first real exposure to a fine art museum was fun!


BOOBIE!